Trying to think strait

It has been eleven months since my last post; and eleven months since my brother Joel passed away. Life has been an odd mix of ups and downs since then, and in that order. I stopped posting for as long as i could as i knew that the time was just about right when i would need to post without having to worry about it being immediately read within the day, which was a common occurance up until 12 months ago. The thoughts which had been running through my head since 2009 have lately made a reappearance, and at the same intensity. I have seven days left to resolve it. And i have not been thinking strait.